Another year behind us. Another year ahead. It’s a crazy time for our world and for some of us personally.
How did things shake out for you? Did you meet your goals and then some? Or did a few things get sidetracked by this thing called “Life?”
This year’s been a busy one here at Red Slice! I launched an epic year-long coaching program, MOMENTUM, in September and am thrilled to coach this amazing cohort of creative entrepreneurs on how to master their marketing, build their brand and stay focused. Want to be the first to know about next year’s class? Get the details and join the Wait List for special pricing when it opens.
The Juicy Guides for Entrepreneurssweet little boxed set of all four for just $5.95 made its debut. Bite-sized nuggets of sage advice on branding, inspiration, and time management. Makes a fabulous holiday gift for the client, colleague or entrepreneurial nephew in your life. #justsayin!
And, oh the content! We held a free telejam to Price Right and Conquer Cash Flow with the amazing finance coach, Debbie Whitlock. I ran not one, but TWO free MOMENTUM 5-Day Challenges that people adored. And of course, blogs, blogs, blogs.
And with that in mind, here is a collection of my best advice and musings from 2016. Enjoy!
When you think no one is listening or you have no influence, read this. (Um, they are and you do!)
You are a maker. You’re a doer. You’re a business owner.
You write. Or create art. Or teach others.
YOU HAVE INFLUENCE.
I don’t care if you’re just starting out or have been at this awhile. Your email list may consist of your mom and your best friend. You may only have 100 Twitter followers.
Or you may reach tens of thousands each week. You may serve hundreds of customers each month.
Wherever you are, use what you’ve got.
Never underestimate the importance of your work or message. It may seem trite, but if you can influence or inspire even just a few, then you have done your job well.
Now more than ever, in these tumultuous times…when folks are feeling raw, vulnerable and afraid…now is the time to use your voice and choose love.(TWEET THIS!)
Not “love” in the romantic sense, but like this:
Love yourself and be self-confident so you don’t feel the need to bully others or let bullies win over you
Love your neighbor so that all people can feel accepted and appreciated
Love your clients so you can bring real, honest value to them
Love your customers so you can make their lives better with your products or services
Love you partners so you can create wins for that benefit everyone
Love your community so you can collectively pull everyone up together
Love your environment so its beauty and nourishment enriches generations to come
Love your family and friends so they have a firm foundation to fully spread their own love to others
Here’s what I know to be true: No matter what your religion, nationality, gender or sexual orientation, the only thing that matters is how you show up in the world and love. You are the example when you think no one is watching – because sometimes only YOU are watching, and you want to be proud of what you see.
Give thanks for the gifts you’ve been given. Start small and share them with whoever is in your circle of influence right now. If that’s just your family and friends, choose love. If that’s tens of thousands of email subscribers or Instagram followers, choose love.
We’re in this together. But do your part. Show up. Choose love.(TWEET THIS!)
THANK YOU so very, very much for being part of my tribe. Thank you for letting me inspire, inform and love you – whether I deliver practical business info or motivational advice. My goal is to make your life + work better. If I do, please share this post with a friend or colleague. And if you’re not already on my weekly list, please sign up below. Thank you!
We all have those moments of which we’re not proud of, right?
The other day, I was THAT customer.
At 8:15 am, I waited for the drive-thru pharmacy to open, as they should have at 8 am. With another car in front of me, and a 9 am meeting, I fumed.
I can be quite a forgiving soul, especially when there’s a reasonable explanation. But I have zero patience for arrogance and incompetence. Especially as a customer.
The pharmacy gave me a hefty dose of both on this particular morning.
Mind you, there was baggage. This pharmacy has already created a horrible brand experience: understaffed, long lines, misplaced scrips, and a constantly frazzled and rushed pharmacist. I can never just pop in and have things go right. But it’s the closest to my house.
Back to the other morning:
I called the store from my car to ask the clerk if the pharmacist was even in. I explained there were two cars waiting in line and could he please let her know?
Finally, someone showed up and the first car got through quickly. I pulled up to the window.
“Your prescription is not ready…” the tech started to say.
That’s when I lost it. “It’s the last day of my prescription and I’m on auto-fill, it should totally be ready!”
“If you’ll let me finish, MA’AM…we’ll fill it right now and take care of it for you, Stop yelling at me.” (for the record, I wasn’t)
“Well, I’m frustrated that you were supposed to open up over 20 minutes ago and now you’re making me wait even more. I’m going to be late for a meeting.”
To which the snarky tech barks, in the most condescending tone:
“Excuse me, our pharmacist was a in car crash and just got here. Show some compassion, will you, and we’ll help you.”
Now I was impatient AND insulted. She just accused me of being a monster with no compassion. What the what?
“Well, I didn’t know that, of course. How could I? I’m very sorry about that and hope she’s okay, but that was uncalled for and I don’t appreciate your tone.”
Inside, I felt horrible as I saw the poor pharmacist struggling to fill the scrip. But I was super pissed at someone condemning my character for no reason. Had she said the woman had been in a car crash and I still didn’t care, then that’s another story.
So I didn’t let it go. When the tech came back, I said, “Look, please tell the pharmacist I’m very sorry and that I hope she feels better, but I had no way of knowing this. You could have just said, ‘Please be patient with us, our pharmacist was late because of a crash.” Instead you decided to insult me.”
Just then, the pharmacist came to the window and apologized for the inconvenience and to ask if I had any questions.
“Please don’t worry,” I told her. “I’m so sorry this happened to you and I hope you’re okay. Please go easy on yourself today.”
This whole exchange haunted me. The tech’s snitty, lecturing tone. The sad look in the pharmacist’s tired eyes. The shame at flying off the handle so easily.
I’m not sorry I defended myself and stood up to the bratty tech. It was completely uncalled for accuse me of being a horrible person for no reason.
But I was sorry for the pharmacist. She’s always stressed and then this happens. I’m sure her tech was just acting like a Mama Bear. And I was sorry because, yes, I’m a compassionate human who cares that someone was in a car accident.
With all the conflict and hateful behavior in our world, especially in politics, I decided to make a choice.
Wars, racism, sexism, inequality are all big problems we can’t always control. But they stem from our everyday human interactions. And that is something we can control. (TWEET THIS!)
If we don’t start with being the change we seek in the world, as they say, what hope to we have for tackling the larger problems?
So I wrote her a Get Well card and apologized for stressing her out (I’m still ticked at the tech, though) and left it at the pharmacy counter.
Who knows if she’ll get it? Who knows if she’ll care? But I know and I do. And when we can act the way we want others to act – and show true compassion – I have to hope that makes a ripple effect to make the world a better place.
You have that opportunity every day. You don’t have to change the world by curing cancer or building some global empire or writing a best-selling novel. Delight a client. Help a customer. Chat with a neighbor. Let that driver merge in front of you on the freeway. Look your cashier in the eye (and yes, get off your phone) and say “Thank you.”
You know, like one compassionate human to another.
How much time do you waste fielding inquiries from, preparing long proposals for, or haggling endlessly with people who will never buy from you? Or worse, people with whom it’s, quite frankly, a nightmare to work?
While you can create your ideal client personas and build your brand with intention, there is one extra step you can take to attract the right people into your orbit.
Define, articulate and share your unique philosophy.
What differentiates you is not just what you do, but how you do it. I wrote about this last week.
But, remember, while you get to choose your ideal customers and clients… your ideal fans also get to choose YOU. (Tweet This!)
So make it super easy for them to self-select and say, “Yes! I want to join your party!”
Publish your philosophy right on your website. Post it to a page, such as:
When you take a stand and say, “This is how I roll!” you invite people in to either join your tribe or say, “Meh, this is just not for me. Thanks.”
And that’s okay. Because you will never create a strong, connective and beloved brand if you try to please everyone. The best, most successful brands such as Apple, Starbucks and Virgin don’t claim to be right for everyone, so why do you think that would work for you?
Take a stand. Be bold. Share your philosophy and approach. It may not be right for some people, but wouldn’t you rather spend your precious time and energy engaging with more of the right people, more often? It’s not just an easier sales process, it’s just more fun!
No one starts a business without a passion for change.
Sure, many people do so to make lots of money, but what they choose to do, and how they choose to do it order to make that money? That’s often based on a problem they want to solve or an opportunity to make people, processes or communities better.
I’ll bet this is true for your business, too.
Knowing what drives you is essential to your success. (TWEET THIS!)
Let me share a story about motivation.
In 2008, I left Corporate America. My career included successful stints as a Fortune 500 management consultant, a marketer at Discovery Networks, an ad agency executive and several Director of Marketing positions at Silicon Valley tech companies.
Corporate life was great to me. It offered stability, a clear-cut career path, and benefits.
But as my marketing and branding skills grew, as I studied the greats like Ogilvy and as I saw first-hand what resonated with people and what did not, I realized something:
Many businesses forget that they are marketing to human beings.
This is never more true than in the business to business (B2B) space. So much jargon, overblown claims and eye-glazing boredom. No one talks like that!
Were we talking to robots…or to human beings with needs, desires and problems to be solved? Where was the connection? Where were the stories?
I’m a storytelling addict, in all its forms: An indie film. A moving play. An emotional video. A hilarious joke. A persuasive and succinct argument. I truly believe stories have the power to inspire, provoke, entertain, educate and persuade.
Marketing is not about lying to people. Marketing is simply communication, elevating the truth of your story so that the right people–the people who need what you’ve got–can find you and get on board. Truthful communication, where claims are backed up by proof but served with a side of emotion.
When I started Red Slice in 2008, I was excited. Finally, I could do marketing my way. Truthful. Emotional. Passionate. Human. I vowed to do work I loved with people I liked who were passionate about what they do. Period. No BS.
Honesty was important to me. I would offer tough love to my clients. Constructive feedback. Even if they made a different decision in the end, they would always get the truth.
Why? Three things happened in my early career that shaped this:
One, as a 21 year-old management consultant, I was asked to lie to a client about my age. Didn’t matter that the client valued my work. Today, they call that “managing the optics.”
Two, I strongly advised a client to go one route when she wanted to take another. I was pulled aside by my manager:
Me: But aren’t we supposed to advise the best way for them to be successful? Isn’t that what they are paying us for?
Manager: No, they are paying us to do what they say and not argue.
Three, when asked by a client to make advertising recommendations, I presented several options. There was just too much she didn’t realize she had to first determine. The client complained that I was “wasting her time.” I was asked to do less consulting and simply execute.
Me: You mean, you want me to be her secretary.
Manager: Well……um….kind of…..yes.
Needless to say, these instances devastated me. But they also fueled my passion for my work today.
It’s important to know what drives you. Your unique philosophy. This is what the right customers will find attractive and rally to support.
The same values drove me to create MOMENTUM, my guided program for busy entrepreneurs. Working with me and a kick-ass group of entrepreneurs, you will streamline your efforts by building a unique, useful and honest brand strategy, step by step. Even if you say you “hate” marketing.
We’ll cover how to determine your drive and articulate your philosophy to attract more of the right people to your business.
You will get feedback and support. You’ll probably even get my tough love!
With MOMENTUM, you will learn how to message and share your unique approach as your best secret “client attraction” weapon. You can jump on the wait list and get all the details right here and I hope you’ll join me.
Because like I always say: If YOU are not driven and inspired to promote your work, why should your audience care?
In eight years, I’ve worked with a lot of entrepreneurs. Some more successful than others. The ideas are always good, the passion is always high. But the clients who have made their businesses soar? They all share one common trait:
A bias toward action.
Look up “go getter” in the dictionary and you’ll see a picture of Renee Metty, one of my most cherished clients. I consider her a serial entrepreneur. Renee started a successful preschool in Seattle called The Cove School that was already off and running when we first worked together on an event planning business she wanted to launch. While that business was successful, her heart was not really in it. But what she was passionate about? Mindfulness, presence and creating more balance in the world, like she was doing at her school. So more recently, I helped her launch WithPAUSE, which offers mindfulness coaching, workshops and training designed to help people live richer, deeper and more fulfilling lives, both at home and at work.
In this interview, Renee shares her (not so) secrets when it comes to building a successful business: Failing fast, scoring speaking engagements, setting goals vs. intentions (and which one is better for your business), facing fear and how to focus. Enjoy our chat!
Maria Ross: Welcome to Red Slice, Renee! You are a very successful entrepreneur with at least three businesses (that I know of) under your belt. What I love about you is that you proactively commit to moving your ideas forward. What do you think drives you from idea to action?
Renee Metty: I’m a huge believer of failing fast and I know that nothing happens without action. Once I have an idea that I feel is viable, then I try it. I want to see if it’s going to work. I will say that there’s a huge difference between what I’m doing now and when we met when I was doing wedding planning. Very different intentions with very different outcomes, and I think they’re directly correlated.
MR: What do you mean by different intentions?
RM: When I started the wedding planning business, my intention was basically, “How can I make the most amount of money and work the least amount of time?” (laughs) It was fun and it was semi-glamorous and I liked the project management side of it, but it was very external. What I’m doing now is completely driven from the inside. There is pretty much zero focus on money and strategy. But it’s more about focusing on I can do and how I can contribute and that mindset is what keeps me in flow. (TWEET THIS!) I’m doing something I love and opportunities keep popping up. I slowed down and listened. I’m paying attention and I’m following my heart to the point where I feel like I’m driving the opportunities in a lot of ways.
MR: Wow.
RM: It’s like “Oh, this is where I’m supposed to be right now. I’m going to go with it and see what happens.”
MR: But obviously you’re taking proactive steps, too. Speaking engagements don’t just fall into your lap, for example. What has been your approach?
RM: It’s very general. My approach is to ask myself how I can add value to a community or society. Then when opportunities pop up, I ask two questions: Is it something I want to do, and, is it something that adds value? Sometimes it’s both, and sometimes it’s one of them. There are a few conferences I know that are good for networking or just getting my information out there, so I can spread my message. But honestly, the rest do fall in my lap. When I had my first few speaking engagements, I was reading a lot about how to get more. And over and over again, I found the advice, “If you want to speak, speak!” You’ve got to keep speaking. From one speaking opportunity comes other opportunities. Maybe the underlying thing is that you focus on connecting with people. I’m talking about less of the networking kind of connection and more about just being open to others, listening to people and staying really curious about where they are and what they want.
MR: But you proactively pursued those initial speaking engagements, right?
RM: The first one, I did not! Someone from Seattle Interactive asked me if I thought about speaking. I had already set the intention three months prior that I wanted to speak and share my mindfulness message with others.
MR: It’s kind of like the whole philosophy of “the things on which you put your attention and focus get done….”
RM: Without a whole lot of effort.
MR: Right.
RM: Honestly, I’m not trying. I’d say 10 to 20 percent is me trying, but it would be something like “I want to be international” and then someone tells me “Oh, there’s a Montessori conference that’s in Prague this year; you should apply to it.” And then I look into it. There’s no such thing as luck; as Oprah says, luck is just opportunity meeting preparedness.
MR: Exactly.
RM: And so there’s the opportunity, I’m fully prepared to take action on it and when it presents itself, and I do something about it. But also, I’m listening. I’m paying attention and I’m doing what I love so the right things are coming my way.
MR: You are such a delight to work with because you hash out your brand and message first, but then take immediate action. When starting these businesses, what has been the benefit of creating your brand strategy first before you build your website or start your marketing?
RM: I think it’s getting in front of the right people. Something I learned in my recent coaching certification class, which I love, is, “When you’re saying ‘no’ to something, what are you saying ‘yes’ to?” And the other way around: “When you’re saying ‘yes’ to this, what are you saying ‘no’ to?” It helps you prioritize. Something I learned from you is that if you’re writing a proposal or going to a networking event, if you don’t have a brand strategy or an ideal client in mind first, you’re just kind of spinning your wheels. I’d rather put myself in front of 100 people that may actually want my services than 1,000 people where I’m shooting blindly at a target.
MR: Exactly!
RM: Then there’s the 80/20 rule. My dad was in business so I’ve heard it for a long time: 80 percent of your business comes from 20 percent of your customers or efforts. When you understand that, it’s huge! When I went into mindfulness training and speaking, it really was to have a broader reach and know that if I can impact people more deeply, that, even if my reach was broad but I had just a few people listening and coming back for more, then that’s where I really wanted to focus. Which is where the brand strategy comes into play: helping you focus.
MR: For entrepreneurs who are still in the same place with their business or idea that they were two years ago, what advice can you offer? People that don’t see the results they crave or are sort of flailing, doing a lot of work but not getting any traction?
RM: I think the biggest thing is seeing if they can get to the core of what they love to do, in general. I’m a huge “list” person so having them make a list of things they want to be doing: where do they want to be focusing their time and energy – and a list of what they are actually doing. Start from there to see if there’s any overlap. Then you can go back to the idea of “if you’re saying ‘yes’ to this, what are you saying ‘no’ to?” If you’re doing all these things but you really don’t like doing them, then you’re saying no to all these things you want to do. I talk a lot about shifting perspective. I think that is the biggest lesson: you have to shift your perspective and focus on contribution. What value are you giving whomever, whether it’s your client or society or your industry, and start from there. That can be really hard because that’s not tied to dollars.
MR: That’s why many people don’t understand why mission and purpose are part of the brand strategy, but it’s got to start from there. If you don’t believe it, if you don’t buy what you’re selling, why should anyone else care? They’re not going to be your customers for the sole purpose of making you money; that’s not what’s going to light them up inside.
RM: And it’s your presence around it. If you’re super excited about what you’re doing, that excitement comes out. And it’s infectious.
MR: One last thing for you, Renee: Because you’re so action-oriented, it seems like you have no fear. You follow the principle of failing fast: you’re willing to try it and just go out there. If someone said ‘Apply to this conference’ and you didn’t have your – pardon my language – s**t together, you’d still apply. That’s what I love about you. You’re like ‘I’ll figure out the rest later!” What do you think gives you that confidence or ability to overcome your fear and how would you advise someone stuck in “paralysis analysis?”
RM: You know, part of my fear was fear of success, which I figured out recently, but I think what I always know that whatever happens is exactly where I’m supposed to be. They’re not isolated incidents. I have fear that one day I’m going to bomb some presentation or just go blank or something but I also know it’s pointless to even think about that. People get into that cycle so it’s best to dig deeper and figure out the rationale underlying that fear. What’s the worst thing that can happen? How I overcome it is by taking action, because the only way to overcome fear is by taking action and then knowing that any type of ‘failure’ is a learning opportunity.
MR: Right. There’s simply an outcome; it’s not positive or negative.
RM: Exactly.
MR: It’s an equal reaction, a cause and an effect. Whatever that effect is, you’re going to learn something from it.
RM: And more recently, I’ve realized that I’m not attached to any particular result or outcome. That’s huge. With all this stuff happening for me, more opportunities coming up and saying yes to a lot of things, some people have said ‘You have so much on your plate but you seem so relaxed’. It’s because I don’t attach to any particular outcome and I think that’s where a lot of stress comes in. It’s like ‘Oh my gosh, I applied to this conference, I really want to speak at it!’ and they’re just focused on “Am I going to get it or not?” and then they get the opportunity to speak and then they’re focused on “Are they going to like it, is it going to go well?” and I just don’t think about that at all.
MR: How do you marry that, or reconcile that, with having goals, though?
RM: There’s a podcast that I love that I listened to before I had this perspective with Tim Ferris and Leo Babauta and it was their little fun, playful argument about goals versus intentions. And at the time, I was thinking, “You’re crazy, Leo. I get it but you do need goals.” I was siding with Tim Ferris but I got what Leo was saying. Now it’s like ‘Oh my Gosh, I’m on Leo’s side. I have no goals!’
MR: Totally. Personal story: I started setting yearly “themes” rather than goals the last few years; I used to be the list person with the bullet points every year in my resolutions: my fitness resolutions, my work resolutions. It’s probably not the soundest business strategy but I don’t have revenue goals anymore.
RM: I do think that’s sound.
MR: Yeah, I think it’s sound when you’re working with yourself; I don’t know if it’s sound if you’re running a 1,000-person corporation! It’s kind of the complete opposite of what I’ve taught about marketing metrics, but it’s this idea of loosely setting intentions: ‘These are the things I want to accomplish.” I now pick themes for the year instead of resolutions and then I back all my actions into supporting those themes!
RM: Yeah. The bottom line is, is your bottom line moving? You know that when you run a business you have to have revenue and profit to stay afloat. Having said that, if you get super-specific about goals, you may be missing out on other opportunities that could work out as well. You have to be open to the fact that your goal might not be the right goal. With intention, it’s much more open and spacious for almost anything to happen and it’ll put you in the right place at the right time. I don’t have goals. I feel like anytime I think ‘I probably should have some goals’ and move towards them, it falls apart. This has been working for me so far and I’m going with it.
MR: I love it. And that’s why, honestly, when I do brand strategy work with clients, it’s strategy, yes, but it’s really all about focus. It’s not necessarily, ‘We’re going to penetrate these three markets by the end of the year’ and blah, blah, blah…
RM: Right. And the difference between intention and a goal, I think, is there is no attachment to outcome when you have an intention, whereas goals are very measurable and there is an attachment to outcomes. What happens for a lot of people is, how are you responding to those outcomes? You don’t hit your goals. And if that derails you….
MR: You’re devastated.
RM: And it doesn’t help anybody.
MR: And often I find it’s one thing if you can tell yourself ‘I’m going to set this numeric l goal. I’m going to sell 1,000 books this month.’ However, it’s another thing for you to be able to tell your psyche ‘That’s my goal and that’s what I’m shooting for and anything that I do short of that is still okay because, bottom line, I’m still selling books!” But I think a lot of people can’t do that for themselves. They think, if they only sell 950, they’ve failed.
RM: Right. And really when I hear that and I look at ‘I’m going to sell 1,000 books’ and if I’m only at 500, that for me is an opportunity to say ‘Why did I only sell 500 and what do I need to do differently if I want to get that number to move?’
MR: It guides ‘This is where I am’ but I think there’s an emotional aspect to this type of goal-setting where some people can do it and be okay – they know in their head that they’re not actually going to get that number but they’re driving the actions towards it – so whatever they get is gravy.
RM: It comes to, what is your perspective going in?
MR: Right. And I think it’s so hard to teach people that. To tell them to set a goal but hold it loosely so you have something to aim for but if you don’t reach it, it’s okay.
RM: And there’s an emotional intelligence piece to it because when you have some strong emotional intelligence you’re able separate the goal from your identity. So you’re able to look at it neutrally without equating “less books equals less me.”
MR: Right. The goal is actually just there to spur the movement. Like when I talk about the upward trajectory of your brand. As long as things are moving in the right direction, that’s a good thing.
RM: Which is why if you can focus on your intention, which is “What are you contributing? You’re contributing value to 500 people!” Not “I only sold 500 books.” That shift for people to focus on contribution is huge if they can make it, which I know is a tough thing to do.
MR: Great stuff, RM. Thanks for being here!
What did you think of this talk? What are your thoughts or questions about goals and intentions? How do you best plan for success? Please share below in the Comments!
My two-year-old repeats this refrain at least twenty times a day. It could be about his toys, or his socks falling down, or some milk he spilled.
“Fix it” doesn’t always mean that something is broken.What he actually desires is for something to work the way it’s supposed to, or be within reach or simply look tidier.
Many times, entrepreneurs or freelancers think their business is “broken.” No one knows who they are. They can’t stand out. They are not attracting the right clients, resulting in nightmare projects or people who haggle on price. Or they are not attracting ANY clients. They can’t get email signups, their sales inquiries are few and far between – even though there is a lot of goodwill for what they do and they have built a solid reputation.
I never promise to “fix” anyone’s business. No one can do that for you because that’s a big, complex question. If you want to pay $20,000 to some guru who promises that they can, well, proceed with caution.
Why?
Because it’s not about “fixing.” Most of the time, I find that clients are offering real value, bold creativity and fabulous wisdom. Nothing is inherently broken. They’ve got amazing talents, content or wisdom to share with the world.
What they actually need is clarity, because their message or offering is so confusing, the beauty of it gets lost in a less-than-stellar elevator pitch or overwhelming home page copy.
What they actually need is focus, because they are chasing every new shiny promotional object, praying something will work. And most of the time, they are chasing the wrong things that will never work. Once you focus on your ideal customers, where they are, and what they need and focus on doing a few activities really well, you will see great results.
What they actually need is creativity, because they are so busy grasping at everything that the creative well has run dry. The passion is gone. I’ve so been there, believe me! They are cranking out soulless guides or bland social media posts or boring blogs (if they even have energy left to do these things) that lack the unique and strong voice I can instantly hear when they tell me why they do what they do. All this busy-ness results in burn-out, not new customers. With my guidance, they reignite their spark to discover that the experiences, stories and passions that they are discounting are actually their greatest brand strengths.
You don’t always need “fixing.” What you may need is an infusion of clarity, focus and creativity. (Tweet this!)
If your business is not where you’d like it to be right now, I’d urge you to stop for a moment. Take stock. Perhaps, like my son, you simply want your business to work the way it’s supposed to, or for your goals to be within reach or that your efforts are more streamlined and tidy!
See if any of these three culprits is actually to blame before you try another tool or switch directions yet again.
Here’s why our recent garage clean-out is going to help you make more confident decisions.
When we moved last August, we stored boxes…and boxes… of books in our new garage. Why? We’re avid readers but now we have a tiny human toddler running around, so we gave away our old bookshelves in the name of safety, replacing them with two slimmer, more secure ones.
Did we cull through our books immediately? Heck no. We did what most normal people do when faced with a fun Saturday task like that: we put it off.
Fast forward: We finally dug those boxes out and I’m rediscovering many beloved books. One of them is Decisive: How to Make Better Choices in Life and Work by Chip and Dan Heath. And, in a fit of irony, the page where I’d left off was still marked. Maybe therein lies while I’m still so indecisive?
Anyway, back to you.
In a twist of fate, I just got an email from Dan Pink, an author I adore. He wrote a surprising and wonderful book called Drive about what motivates human beings. It’s not as black and while as you think, so it’s a fascinating read based on studies and research.
Dan’s email linked to his Pinkcast Tip…on the one question to ask yourself to make better decisions when you’re stuck. He references….wait for it….Decisive!
Clearly, the Universe is trying to tell me to share this one golden nugget with you:
When faced with a decision, we often see every single side of it and hem and haw over the endless possibilities. However, studies show that when we give advice to other people, we do a much better job of it. This could explain why so many consultants (including me) are their own worst clients! The Heath Brothers go more into it in their book as to why, but for now, here’s the golden question:
What would you tell your best friend to do?
Duh, right? We do this all the time, whether it comes to business or relationships or parenting. We are so damn hard on ourselves but when a friend asks us for advice, we can immediately see the right answer.
Simple can also be the most powerful. (Tweet this!)
So if you’re overwhelmed at building your business, or if your relationships are suffering or if you have an icky business partner who keeps screwing you over and don’t know what to do, ask yourself: What would I tell my best friend to do?
By now, you’ve probably heard the news that the artist Prince has passed away at 57. Reports are that he died due to flu complications (sounds crazy, right?).
I’m shocked and saddened. But why?
See, Prince defined the soundtrack to my youth. I was not a “super fan” by any stretch (Leaving that to my bestie, Becky) but his music accompanied my young big dreams, inner wildness, and joy.
I, like you, rolled my eyes when he changed his name to a symbol decades ago and enjoyed mocking his new, “formerly known as Prince” moniker. Seriously, how ridiculous, I thought. But man, I didn’t care what he called himself when I rocked along to “Kiss” or lip-synched “When Doves Cry” into my hairbrush. The rhythm and funk moved me, as it did so many others. And “Purple Rain” is as epic a rock ballad as they get.
Some folks felt a loss when Bowie passed, and while I admired his creativity, that loss didn’t cut as close to home as this one. It feels like our planet is losing many of it’s creative geniuses all at the same time.
At a time when some politicians vilify diversity, it is comforting to know these renegades are around. Daring, pushing, zagging while everyone else zigs.
Our world desperately needs these voices. Who wants a world made of plain vanilla (no disrespect to tasty vanilla bean ice cream) when we should be living in color?
That’s where you come in.
Keep dreaming. Keep daring. Keep pushing the boundaries, in loud or quiet ways. We don’t all have to be Lady Gaga meat dresses to make a difference. But never, ever make your creative vision small. Don’t hide your message or brand just because it’s “different.”
Whether you are a leadership expert, life coach, designer, writer, speaker, consultant, or store owner, embrace your uniqueness. The world needs your color now more than ever.
I mourn the loss of this creative voice, whether I always agreed with him or not. And I pray my son does not have to live in a world too afraid to embrace more Bowie’s or Prince’s or…..YOU. Heck, I pray I don’t have to live in a world without such color and life, either.
Entrepreneurship…business ownership….freelancing….author or speaker….whatever you call your profession, the bottom line is that you work for yourself.
You are responsible for building your business, marketing it, talking it up, making connections, reconciling the books and most of all, finding work that pays.
It can be hard and joyous.
It can be stressful and freeing.
It can be lonely and empowering.
There is a lot of work to be done and no one else to do it but you. Or, I should say, no one else is responsible for driving it but you.
It takes a certain amount of moxie and momentum to wake up every morning and make your work happen.
So right now, decide:
Are you in lust or are you in love with your business?
Lust is chasing the cute bad boy (or gal) in the leather jacket because he looks cool. You know nothing about him but you dive in headfirst because you think this will be a helluva lot of fun.
Lust is surface. Lust runs hot and cold. Lust is about short bursts of passion and effort. Lust is moody. Lust drains you. Lust bails when things get too messy or hard.
Kind of like starting a business because you think it looks “really fun” and you don’t have any desire to put the time, effort and work needed into it. Or maybe you’ll just work on your business “when you have time,” like you do with your favorite hobbies.
It’s spending all your time building a cool, hip website rather than worrying about the bottom line. It’s randomly advertising or marketing without a sound plan in place. It’s taking get-rich-quick courses to shortcut the work, or failing to budget or plan. It’s designing pretty business cards for months rather than getting out there and hustling for paid work.
Love, on the other hand, is getting to know another person for who they really are, and embracing their soul. You know there will be good days and bad days and you learn how to work together as one solid unit–even in moments when you might want to rip their eyes out. You are committed to every delightful, frustrating, cherished and annoying moment of it.
Kind of like starting a business with eyes wide open, knowing some days you’ll be successful and others you will fall on your face, but always keeping your larger vision in mind. You learn from your mistakes. You study. You soak up knowledge. All in an effort to improve. It’s hard work but you stay steadfast and don’t lose momentum because you are “all in.”
Love is deep. Love is honest, stable and healthy. Love is constant and committed energy and motion. Love fuels you.
I’m not saying your have to run your business for the rest of your life or even that you should continue on if you no longer find joy in it. On the contrary, please, if this is where you are, give it up immediately and do something else that lights you up inside.
What I am saying is don’t confuse lust and love. Lust is a fling. Love is a commitment. (TWEET THIS!)
Love is not easy. Love has bad days. But love is a commitment to forward movement. To momentum. To growth.Love is a sweet promise into which you put your whole heart, come what may, because you can’t imagine doing anything else.
Right now, decide. Are you in love or in lust with your business? And then act accordingly.
Craving more entrepreneurial advice and inspiration? Check out my Juicy Guide to Entrepreneurship: How to Energize Your Brand and Squeeze More Soul into Your Business, on sale on Amazon right now for just $0.99!
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By now, you’ve probably heard the news that the artist 
Entrepreneurship…business ownership….freelancing….author or speaker….whatever you call your profession, the bottom line is that you work for yourself.